remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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