Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
