you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
