Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
