used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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