heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
