If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
