Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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