Don't make out with my wife yet
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
