Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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