Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
