How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
