i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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