What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
