Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Dear god my vagina.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
