We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
