Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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