His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
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