and next time when you feel me up, do it right
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
