Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize
