she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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