Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
