Sponge bath it is.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
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