well he's currently spooning the coffee table
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
