I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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