I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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