I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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