He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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