he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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