its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Randomize
