ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
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