i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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