So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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