By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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