Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
You have to summon your inner elephant
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
