Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
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