ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize
