so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize