Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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