It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
