HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
