its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize