Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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