Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
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