He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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