i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
