i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I just forgot I was standing up.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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