She's JV to your varsity
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
