i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize