I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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