I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
