I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I just threw up on my dentist
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
