He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize