Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
and she was petting her beer can
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
