If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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