I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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