mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
