theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
