Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize
