Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Randomize