Porn is love you can see.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
