There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Randomize
