Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Vodka?
Forever.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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