Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I lost the right to judge tonight
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
