I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
