I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Randomize
