____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I'm getting married
To pizza
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
